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Mia,

I was...with the captain today.

When I awoke this morning, I stayed in his quarters. It was irresponsible of me, but I wanted to learn more about the man he is, see what things are precious to him...besides Sir Torael.

He came back to the ship, and we talked of his distress over the absence of his beloved...oh how I wanted to ease his pain! I said so and he...Mia, he knew! He knew of my feelings...it was so embarrassing.

He offered again to show me how men love. He wanted me to know it was not...about feelings, merely an offer physical.

I...was less frightened this time. And I know I have no right to ask for the captain's feelings. I know he loves Sir Torael. I'm certain he wouldn't even offer only...I do not know the ways of two men together.

He found my...prison and seemed disappointed. He was going to leave it at that, but I asked if there was any other way I might soothe his distress.

Mia...he showed me.
It was not so difficult...I think. He said I did well.
But Mia.
He did not kiss or hold me, or speak with sweet words as the sailor did that night. He merely touched my face and left...told me to go into the city for some fresh air.

And...he made me promise to keep what happened between we two.

Oh Mia, I feel dirty.
What's happened?

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sweet_endrance
Machael Dawnglory

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