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Dear Mia,

I do not know how to describe to you what's happened.

I was in the galley cleaning when a woman in leather entered. I introduced myself, made tea and conversation, and she told me a very romantic story about how she could have killed her husband but didn't.

Then the captain came.
Oh, Mia!
How the mere sound of his bootsteps makes my heart leap around in my chest. My face is eternally on fire around him. I hope it does not show.

He asked me to dine with him, and I was absolutely in heaven, but then the conversation got strange. Both of them started asking me questions I did not understand, and then...

Oh, Mia, it's too embarrassing to write!
I saw them! Bare and...round...and
oh dear.
Right in my face!

I swooned.
Next I knew, there was a foul smell in my nostrils, and I was waking up on the floor.
I think I hit my head.

The captain asked to be alone with me, and I thought my skin would burst into flames. He knelt down by me, and I nearly fainted again.

He took me in his arms, and held me for MINUTES as though I weighed nothing. Mistress Kay was kind enough to make certain I was all right before she left.
And then...
The captain carried me to his quarters, laid me on his bed and locked the door.

I don't know why, Mia, but it made me greatly fearful.
I broke out in a cold sweat and my knees wouldn't stop shaking.

But the captain, he merely told me to rest while he sat down at his writing desk.

Just when I thought he'd forgotten I was there, he rose and came to me...so very close...
Then he held me...in a way both uncomfortable and frightening, and asked me how his proximity made me feel.

I tried to answer honestly, but it seemed to upset him.
Oh, I tried to make it right, Mia!
I want so desperately for him to like me.

I know he loves Torael, but I can still be his friend, can't I?
He told me so much of his feelings that first day we met...I felt so close to him...that he'd entrusted me with something so precious...

Somehow in my trying to make it right and his turning away from me, it ended with him sitting next to me. He put his hand on my...leg, and said the most awesome things. I don't dare repeat them. They were too much to be believed.
And then, his hand rose higher, and I fainted again.

Oh, he seemed so cross when I woke up! He told me he was leaving, and that I could sleep the night alone in his bed or in my bunk, however suited me best.

How I wept, Mia.
It brings tears to my eyes again just thinking of it.
The captain must hate me now.
Whatever shall I do?

My mind is overfull of so many things.
Breasts...sex between men But how do they do it?

I am alone now in the captain's sumptuous bed, and the expensive linens feel so good against my bare skin.
The bedding is wrapped in the most enticing scent. Musky and spicy both at once. It makes me think of the captain...as though he's lying here with me...

Oh, Mia.
Surely this is why father wanted to send me away.
Ohhhhhh, Captain...oh...Torael!...Captainnnnnnnnnn

((There is a squiggly line falling away from the last n as though his pen slid right off the paper at that point.))


Machael Dawnglory

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